Being Happy...

.. is such a relative emotion. In fact, I find the very word "happy" extremely relative.

It's not about things that make you happy; things being big or small. It's not about the degree of happiness. Meaning to say, it's not about the cause or effect, but the very state of being happy.

There is happiness that is caused by self-satisfaction. And there is happiness when you see your loved ones happy. And when these two are conflicting, there is an all-time sadness.

Self satisfaction accounts for my personal likings and dis likings. Only likings, actually. For example, I can be happy about the weirdest things in the world. Pleasant, bright colors make me happy, an intelligent thought impresses me to drag me to happiness and to beat everything, a good weather. All this makes me happy. But if these be the reasons, I should never be sad at all. But it's not that way, sadly.

To see one's loved one happy, if one needs to compromise one's personal likings, it's reasonable and worth. But I wonder till what extent. It cannot be a rule, for sure. There are things that I like, and probably they don't and I can try convincing them, sometimes successfully, sometimes unsuccessfully. In the unsuccessful times, I understand that there needs to be a compromise from my side. So, there is harmony in relations, in the environment. And supposedly, we're all happy. In such a state, I am bound to ponder upon the degree of happiness. I am definitely not happy(of course, the time period may vary) , because I am the one who's compromised. I wonder if they're happy too. If they're my loved ones, they love me too. They know I've compromised on something, which has certainly disappointed me. If nothing else, who can be happy after a fight, or an argument? But, as I said, the time period of this sadness or disappointment may vary according to the intensity of the issue.

Then, there are times, when I'm happy without a reason(or with one that I've failed to acknowledge, maybe) throughout the day. And there are days when I so want to smile and laugh, but I'm looking for reasons. On such days, even chocolates don't help(it's taken a lot of courage for me to accept this though). And on such days, it's irritating and frustrating when a good news also doesn't leave an impact. It's stupid to see oneself sulking for no reason at all(or one that I've failed to acknowledge, maybe) and seeing others celebrating things.
Probably this is what people call "feeling low". And though I've experienced it many times, I've not yet found a logic to it.

It does make sense adding here that I've heard people genuinely calling me a happy person. And till recently, I had no ( or less than valid) reasons to deny. But now, I'm not very sure if it's a statement, or reminder.

Anyway, who doesn't want to be happy? There are people who slog day and night, because they want happiness. And there are people who are happy because they're idle, or vice versa.

Though people can seldom be classified correctly, I personally admire people who do not reach the extremes. As in, neither can the biggest jackpot in the world ever excite them to a level of madness, losing senses and all that, nor can the usual hassles of a struggling life ever dump their lives into pool of sadness. No, they're not dead people, they're happy and sad with the course of events in their lives. Normal people experience this as just another "calm state" in their lives, but these special people I admire, are always in this state. I admire them because they're strong, emotionally. And hence, very practical, in every approach. And it's not a reason, but they're so damn unlike me!! ( :-P )

When we talk of reasons, sulking, depressions etc, there are two easiest remedies. While we all know them, it doesn't strike us in the time of need! One being meditation. It makes us feel out of the box. The second being thinking about the ones who're not as lucky as we are. We do not get to choose our lives, our families but we get to choose the way we want to lead our lives. Some people don't even get that. Thinking of people who're physically or mentally challenged, or those who've not got families which are as supportive as ours, make me thank God a hundred times and I feel I have no right to crib!
(But aisa harr baar nahi chalta.. )