Extremist?

The world has survival for the extremes
you're either too rich to buy the lands
or you're too poor to own the skies
If you're anywhere in the middle,
speed up, or lower down.

The nation's got the roads built for the extremes
you're either a minister,
too elite to enter a traffic, a crowd
or you're a beggar
owning the footpaths, the dividers, so proud.

The constitution's got reservations for the extremes
The poorest fight the loudest for the deaf constituency to favor
The richest feed the hardest for the hungry administration that's eager

The society's got an ear for the extremes
you're either a tragedy queen to rule the gossips
or you're too lame to offer fellowships
if you're anywhere in the middle,
Oh! you're a loser!

p.s. - It's better to lessen the wide gap between the richest and the poorest than lifting up the poorest in the name of reservations and sympathy by suppressing the middle class as an award for it's hard work and a bare aim of surviving in the society.

You came, you conquered.

We have flaws, our love has flaws
and a perfect love was never what I searched for
and I never searched for you
you came, and you conquered.

When I had just learned to smile at, laugh with, love and live life
you came into my life
I never called it an interference
and acceptance was no favor either
It was an effortless pleasant welcome
when you came, and you conquered.

The love was unconditional
Still, there stood social rules
We tried playing deceiving games
But people aren't fools
Your introduction to a greater part of my life
and when you came, you conquered.

Now that the life is hollow
and I can't see you
There is emptiness all around
the laughter haunts
and the smiles are no where to be found
Now that you've left, and I'm still conquered
my life floats in the thin air
and the dark spirits play with it
and I howl like a small child
I beg of them to walk away
to leave me alone, and stop their play
Me, with those smiles, and the thin air
as I breathe, nothing seems fair

You talked of perfectness when life was at it's best
I talk of imperfections, when death is at it's worse
I'm not scared of tears,
you can keep your fears
just take me with you
as I breathe these last breaths
be by my side
and be the same perfect man,
I never searched for,
when you had just come, and conquered.

Birthdaysss.... I tell you!!!

So, like a special festival, like navartras and all, we have another festival that we celebrate in latter August. The specialty of such festivals is that they last for a minimum one week period. There's a lot of commotion in the house and everyone(almost) is busy and looking forward to the celebration part of it, usually in the evenings.

Okay, so this one festival I am talking about (in latter August!!) is my younger sister's birthday! It mostly lasts for 2 weeks: one week before her birthday, and another one after that.

No, it's not the same for all the members of the house, it's just so for this little kiddo that we have at our place, probably because she's the youngest, she's got a whole list of GIFTS that she prepares the whole year and very elegantly presents it in the start of the festival. Another reason being, her teenage. Not that I don't shop for myself or I don't like to flaunt new clothes and accessories to my friends, but her frequency of buying things drops frequency largely when her birthday is round the corner, only so that no one taunts, "Abhi to itni shopping kari thi" (you've just shopped so much recently!) So, call her sensible in some sense, but all the praises are fed to dogs when she produces her list. It's one attack, I tell you.
So, the first week is both, exciting and tiring, shopping for the girl. We're eating out, we're discussing the gifts, digging in to the good stores and coming home as dead tigresses.
The due day is the family day. Sitting, chatting and going out to lavish eating places to dine with family.
The following week is "her" week. The outings with the bestest friends (the first-order friends), showing off the bestest shopping done in the previous week, the treats in the school canteen to the rest of the acquaintances(the second-order friends) and the small little colony market treats to the colony/tuition friends. This is also her time of revenge, with those who've been fighting with her, her most liked group of friends. She doesn't invite them for her treat, but instead, their friends further.

It was exceptional this year, though. Not because the festival was shortened, or the celebrations were lighter, but because the list was THE SHORTEST this time. It was just a one-piece dress. Not an evening gown, something casual, something very smart. Very reasonable, I'd said. Little did I know that the length of the list doesn't matter, the availability and the perfect choices do.

That day (when she proposed this idea of "just a dress") and yesterday.. man!!! She and I had left no shopped turned upside down in our city. Each shop, each stock, the latest, the oldest, the smartest, the cheapest, the costliest, we went through it all. Well, to leak out the precious details, the (strict about clothing)father takes a good look every evening at the birthday shoping, out of general curiosity, so the neck lines had to be proper. And with due respect to our curves and flabs, it may be said that though we're not out-of-shape ladies, we do not possess the sleekest of the statures, and therefore, we couldn't afford a short dress for her(she's got enough to wear them on leggings already; she wanted to avoid the leggings this time). And with the blessed heights that we have, even medium length dresses look short on us!! Hence, we had to be selective in the hunt.

And of course, the hunt started on the first day of the festival and I am more than glad, that we finished it just in time- on her birthday! Late? well.. she was happy, so it's not very late i guess. Oh yes, it took us seven days to search for a decent, smart, fashionable one-piece dress of her size! South-extension, Lajpat Nagar, those malls in Noida, CnM and God knows where all we've been to look for the best for her. She finally liked one in G.K at 'Pepe Jeans' and we paid for it there and then. For God's sake, we were damned exhausted. But you look at her wearing it man, I now feel, it was worth it!

Well, somehow, the whole house as tired that day. When we returned, I was wondering if I actually had the energy to dine out. But it was her birthday, the main day!! I wished she said something about being tired, whether or not she was! Pa entered just 10-15 minutes after we did. He came equally tired from his office, exceptionally tired. But a kiddo that she is, the little darling that we have, no one could afford not dining out that day. So, she humbly suggested that we won't dine at a big place, but any restaurant near-by! Oh God, who'd explain her that 5 km or 55 km, it takes a lot of energy to freshen up and dress up again! Anyway, as I shrunk my eyes pleading Pa to take a break today, and promising her for some other day, I found him another one. He promised her that he'd take all of us to a 5-star hotel some other day and that day, he wanted to take us to Gulati, on Pandara Road. Anyway, great. I dozed off for an hour.

The best part about the dinner there was that even Badima agreed to come along. Usually, she doesn't. The food there is awesome. Not one smart guy in the restaurant - so there was no distraction and we laughed at every joke that anyone cracked, or attempted.

We came back home, merrily and slept, like dead tigers.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST SISTER.. though I personally find your head absolutely crack and you're too forceful when you've the slightest clue that the person in front is finding your point valid, I still love you.
There are small fights, big fights, heated arguments, physical fights, and I do say I HATE YOU at times, I still love you.
I know you'd go against me, let me down, leave no stoned unturned to prove me wrong, if you know Pa feels that I'm wrong, because we love him. Anyway, I love you!
-23rd August, 2008

And again she's out. This time, to watch that Ranbir starer flick with her school's bestest buddies. She's wearing the same dress she bought yesterday and man.. that high headed snob, she's on the ninth cloud today! She's happy. I'm happy for her. It's her birthday week, her birthday festival. The teenage birthday festival.

These birthdayssss.... I tell you!!

And she lived.. and she died.

An intimacy.
A blurred clue.
A dilemma.
A deep thought.
A relationship.
Complete confidence.
A submission.
Ugly state of affairs.
An unsuccessful withdrawal.
A never-ending deep thinking.
The End.

They, and me

They love me so much, it hurts.

The fact is, I love them.
The belief is, that I can do anything for them.
The hope is, that I will.
The reality is, that I am time and again shaken violently to realize the (hollow) present, as I sit back in my bright(and unacceptable) past, and fear my sad (and haunted) future.

Post - Independence

I'd like to thank all those people who've contributed even their least bit in wanting India to be independent of the British rule. Sach, dil se!

And now, like many others, I wonder how independent our nation is. Well, definitely of the British. But not of American economy, to start with. One crash there, and the whole market goes tipsy turvy. This dependency is not unique to India, if I've to console! The whole world's suffered, true. Next?

The next issue is a very common heading in all the newspapers, "Delhi not safe for women!" As if safer in other cities in this country, I wonder. But the national capital, at least, should be secured? Is that what comes to your mind? It's like the wrong-doers here are the most determined lot in the country. It no longer matters to them whether it's day-time or dark, whether a public spot or a secluded one. What can therefore be suggested is that one can only take precautions. No crying, regretting or blaming can defend your mis-hap.
Here, I'd also wish that these girls be accepted in the society, for the sake of their innocence and whatever life they wish to lead. If people can be open minded about talking of legalizing prostitution, they should be equally open minded in general about such issues as well.
Well, next?

I could just not avoid the dirtiest issue of the country. No points for guessing, I jump to politics now. I can't say how our country would have turned up, if the British still ruled our country, keeping in mind the racism and their senseless strictness over all Indian matters. But no freedom fighter, in the wildest of his dreams, could have ever thought of politicians ruining the country till this extent. And why only politics? The inspiration today has moved to the judiciary, the police, each and every government department, posts big or small. Daddy used to say that if Bhagat Singh (or any other freedom fighter for that matter) was to be born as Bhagat Singh in his next life also, he'd anyway commit suicide on seeing such a devastated condition of the country. All hyped up media stunts also bring no government employee to shame. They're all so bloody used to it now, nothing matters to them. A common man today avoids, if not withdraws, any dealing with the government today. He's most scared of the police here, because he's their most easily available target. And huge bribes for a simple F.I.R. You talk of rights?
Any respectable father would fear sending his child to politics. The existing ones have their monopoly. And acceptance is restricted to the ones who can survive in their filth.

The British had to work hard on dividing Hindustan into 2, India and Pakistan. Oh! We have the ones that will only make them proud. The ones who take secret pride in starting religious fights. They sit back, and make sure that the fire keeps burning. I could go on and on about this one, it's so hurting. All I'd like to say is that so many of us believe in God, in some form or the other we call Him by different names, Ganeshji, Shivji, Allah, a divine spirit;

PLEASE PRAY TO HIM FOR PEACE IN OUR COUNTRY.

When we have so many religions in our country, why fight? why not pray together for peace and harmony? Each religion is just another path that leads to God. It's okay if we take different routes, as long as we aim the same destination.
For the atheists, I'd want them to meditate at least. The positive vibes would definitely help, and I'm sure they know it.

Sadly, there is no classification of good people and bad people in reality. But when you see people howling and shouting and dying everyday for no fault of theirs, all celebrations seem fake.

Remembering you, Daddyji

Dear Daddyji,
Namaste!
I genuinely hope you're doing good. It's been four years now. You must be a three-year-old motu baby by now. I wonder, a girl or a boy.

I'm sure you annoy your mommy a lot. You used to annoy Badima a lot, remember? She misses those silly little fights with you. You always wanted to watch a news channel, and she always had all the babajis in the world shouting at the top of their voices on your T.V. who'd say "chhodo ye moh-maya. iss jagat mein kya rakkha hai??" and how you'd love to switch to "jaaniye humse iss duniya ki saari khabarein, sabse pehle, sabse tez!!" Then, she'd always want the A.C. on for the entire night, and you'd fight for the remote control when you'd feel cold at night. Badima would shout back throwing a sheet at you and your cute little feet would struggle opening it the whole night. Remember?

I hope you don't fuss much about eating food. You were very fond of junk food. Samosas, Dal ke laddoo, gulab jamuns. Your all-time favorite. You never liked the normal sabji-roti and all that. You were diabetic, sadly. But I wonder if it was all that sad for you, because you always made your way to them. Slowing dragging the plate on the dining table towards you. Then you'd break a tiny piece from the biggest piece. You'd later grab it all in your hands, excusing yourself "itne se kya ho jaayega??" Such a baby you were, always!

I'm sure you love to love everyone around you. And you love to be loved. I'm sure you never cry when a stranger picks you up. I know you love to be pampered. And I know you can only love people in turn. You've always loved us. Whenever there was Mumma scolding us for anything, we always knew you'd be the safest shelter. Your laps were our softest pillows. Your letting us comb your scanty hair, made us feel proud hair-dressers. How you'd just sit smiling with 2 cute pony-tails, with both your hands folded, nicely resting on your every-bulging tummy.

I can also guess that you'd grow up to be strong, hard-working, intelligent, and a patient man. You had brought up your younger siblings like your own children, at such a young age. Taking care of their needs, you did all you could for each one of them, knowing you had no inherited-wealth to support you and your family after you lost everything there in Lahore. All you had with you was your packet of all your degrees, and your zeal to live life with a high head, giving it all it could ask of you, as a mere metric-pass student. Working hard and struggling to settle here in India only made you even stronger. The head remained high to know you'd given birth to a son, whose as zealous as you, as hard-working as you, and as tender-heartened as you. You've hence been a proud father, my father has made sure never to let you down.

Your qualities are the wealth we inherit, more than anything else Daddy. We feel proud of you and everything in you.

We miss you.

We hope that you get all you desire and deserve in this life. We hope you always see the best in this world. We hope you're happy, always.

Hallucinations?

It's been some time now, and I've been, many-a-times, in a state between being asleep and awake. I'm sure it's not a psychological disorder and I'd like to believe that it is only because these days, I'm staying at home, with practically nothing to do, at all. This free mind and free time, have together brought a sense of emptiness in me.

This emptiness may not be an alien to all, but I guess normally people experience it either when they've just woken up after a long sleep or are about to sleep after a very tiring day. Another reason could be a disturbed sleep.

But in my case, it seems to be even in the day-time, when I'm supposedly completely awake, or trying to do something. In this state of partial consciousness, I find myself in situations or places that have already occurred with me. And the most repeated ones are..

when i turn around: I find myself at a restaurant in Noida, at a food counter, where there's self service and I've taken my thali and turned around to find a seat and I see him waiting for me, smiling, and I smile back!
(Now, imagine somebody just walking merrily and on being called, or for any reason, turning around with hands forth, holding air between them! )

when i open my shut eyes after regaining a lost breath: I find myself apologizing him for being late by good half an hour or an hour.
(And this is another one, I'm found saying sorry-sorry every time I climb the stairs, up or down!)

when i am in the mid of my drive: I find myself asking him the venue for today.
(I'm hence safest with no company while a drive!)

when i jump a red-light: I feel scared to look at my left, scared to face his tough looks!

when i am sitting idle: I find myself talking to him about random things. Family, friends, weather, moods, anything.
(I've started to run sheepishly to my room whenever I find myself reach an idle state!)

when i am asked/required to think sensibly over an issue: I find myself relying on him for his most prestigious and much awaited piece of advice. I find myself, saying things like "he'll be able to decide best!" , "he'll be able to judge best!" , "only he's got the brains to think over such a thing!"
(And I'm practically not thinking a bit about anything, even the most important issues. This is serious!)

when i open my eyes on waking up after a sound sleep: I see a dashboard. I feel the hand break breaking one corner of my waist. I find my head on his laps. I feel his fingers playing with my hair.
(I don't want to comment on this. I'm glad no one notices this one!)

when i am trying to sleep at night: I hear his "goodnight". I feel hugged, tight. And I find myself whispering "goodnight" and sleeping, smiling!

(Fortunately or) unfortunately, the worst (or the best) part of this is, that I have started to find him omnipresent. There is no sense of loneliness in me because of his omnipresence.

One may believe.. I've lost it!
I say.. I'm lovin' it!

Ye Mausam Ka Jaadoo Hai Mitawaa...

I'm all smiles today! Those who know me the slightest, must have guessed that half the reason could be the weather today. Well, today, I'd credit it entirely.

The sound of the swinging branches, the race of the dried up leaves sweeping the roads, the touch of the cool breezes, the white clouds of the shapes of all the continents on the earth in the blue-blue sky and everybody tempted to sing his/her favorite song, over and over again, overwhelm me.

So, on this rare occasion of Mr. Delhi playing with the bestest of its moods, I really, realllyyyyy wanted to go out today. Elders in the house had their own procrastination barring them to accompany me but I still wanted Mom to accompany me, for I know she loves less-adventurous, close to-Mother-Nature type of outings.

And here they start, the list and the confusions.

Delhi parks couldn't be a good idea, for we would never want to bear the guilt of the lovers who would otherwise feel scared of making public appearances with their respective partners. Adding to this, is our least interest in "bird-watching". Therefore, missing out the beautiful gardens and their perfectly trimmed greenery was sadly seemingly obvious.

Malls can just not complement a good weather. "What's the use of entering air-conditioned complexes when we're out to enjoy a great weather!" Makes sense.

Shopping out was an idea that brought a wide grin on my face and my Mom, like probably all others, came out with just another stare, a big one. What if we had just gone to heavy-duty shoppings just one week back, for my cousin's wedding and other miscellaneous functions. Anyway, this option wasn't totally ruled out, but we were bent on considering other options.

Amidst all this, were the voices from here and there, solely intending my anger and Mom's discouragement, wanting us to stand very romantically in our very spacious balcony and smile at any soul who peeped out of his window or came out in his balcony. No, not this, not today!

How could the national capital of our very own India, be short of places for innocent mother-daughter couples like ours for an outing in such a pleasant weather?

The next stream-line went desi now. Khan market? Sarojini Nagar market? some what better... umm.. Dilli Haat? Well, why not? I had never been there before, never in these 21 years? Oh God, I've not been a good Delhite. Sad. (Zyaada ho gaya? :-P) Anyway, time to make up for it! So, finally, decided to go to Dilli Haat.

The drive was nice. Parking was a problem, but I'm almost used to it now (because Delhi-Malls=parking problem!) The entrance fee was a minimal cost of Rs. 15. Impressed! But there was a change over going on today. Not-so-impressed. On entering a small path-way, there were old ladies selling colorful anklets. Rest of the market comprised of artificial jewelery, pearl jewelery, Indian cotton kurtis, wrap-around skirts, bed-covers, and souvenirs. And, of course, different stalls of different cuisines. The market on the whole didn't have as much variety as I had expected, but the mausam played it's due role. Slight rain drops, cool breeze and not a great rush, was all that could make a happy outing, in the brightest of our spirits.

Ahh... what a day! I wonder how if Delhi's awesome mausam has been breaking any records.. it's been more than pleasant this entire season. Thank you dear pre-monsoons!!
:-)
:-)
:-)

HAPPY 'RAINY SEASON'!

For almost all possible reasons, I've hated the fact that Indians associate largely everything to their Gods. For everything good, for everything bad, there's ONLY God. I am not an atheist myself, and what all I believe in is another part of the story, but I do not see God the soul reason for everything. He's believed to be the culprit, the savior, the generosity, the judge, the everything! It's a pity how a large part of the country gets swayed so easily.

But perhaps today, whatever be the reason, I realize another aspect of it today. The brighter perception called "celebration"! Others merely enjoy rains. But we, the Indians, celebrate the season(sawan) by worshiping the Gods. Thus, the enjoyment, the whole spirit of a season is doubled, tripled because of such intense devotion being associated to it.

Today, my grandmother hosted a keertan at our place. She invited many ladies of the neighborhood and many of her other friends. And she, very sincerely, took the job of arranging everything herself. She cleaned the portraits of her preachers and put garlands around them herself. (She bought the garlands herself!) She neatly kept the portraits in the living room and even decorated the jyot with rose petals. Everything was absolutely set right half an hour before the scheduled time. (Trust me, the arrangements were impressive!) She welcomed each lady with folded hands and a pleasant smile. Each one sat with utmost discipline and silence.

The keertan wasn't a social gathering at all. All the ladies, with their eyes shut, sincerely engrossed themselves in the purpose of the gathering. After the gathering, each one greeted the other, and without making much noise, left.

Before the keertan, i saw Badima so excited, like a small child packing return gifts for his birthday party. During the keertan, she was, in real sense, magn(!!), I noticed. And after it was all over, man! the million dollar smile on her face, I loved it. A smile of extreme satisfaction and pleasure.

I don't want to comment on how happy the Gods felt or how God would save them from any sort of a punishment. All I'm feeling happy about is that small things in life can give immense pleasure to anyone who intends seeking it.

08.08.'08

:-)

I get very fascinated by such dates. Symmetric ones. Or they may even have a line of symmetry ( eg., 20.11.'02 etc) But dates with the same numbers throughout are the best!

I wonder how lucky it is to be born on such a date! Many would call him lucky because of great numerological reasons. But why I'd call him lucky is because wherever he'd go, he'd fill in this date of birth.. I mean, it's such an attention-drawing issue! And, everyone who'd read it, would definitely smile at least once on noticing it!

I have a cousin who was born last year on 7th July. So the date of birth was 07.07.'07. And 7 being an extra-ordinary number(for various general reasons like days in a week=7 and many Hindu mythological reasons as well), he became the talk of the town! And I don't know what luck has in store for him, he is definitely the cutest and the happiest baby I've seen in my life(touchwood!!).
It's not lame to add here that I possess an extremely bad memory, leading to which, I forget many an important dates. Birthdays, wedding anniversaries, first job anniversaries, etc of near and dear ones. In my own world of clumsiness, I sometimes take fake pride in this. But honestly, it's embarrassing! Therefore, it's very relaxing to be acquainted with someone who's done a big deal on such dates. In fact, I plan to plan something "plannable" today! (ughhh... sorry!)

Happy 08.08.'08!

GETTING STARTED, ANYWAY..

The beginnings are always strange.
The processes always tedious.
The end results may or may not hold any relation with the original motives.
Acceptance of the creation is independent of it's nature.

Therefore, nothing in this world can prove my work "wrong" or "unworthy of any praises"!

;-)
:-P

On a second and a more sensible thought, I'd like to welcome criticism, slight or extreme, an opinion or any sort of a suggestion. I'm so new to writing.. I'd welcome HELP!!